Friday funny

[vernon11]

15 is good.

[Air Hog]

OK, I know it's not Friday yet but had to share this one:

Grandpa's Drink
There was a family gathering, with all generations around the table.
Mischievous teenagers put a Viagra tablet into Grandpa's drink, and after a while, Grandpa excused himself because he had to go to the bathroom.
When he returned, however, his trousers were wet all over.
'What happened, Grandpa?' he is asked by his concerned family.
'Well,' he answered, 'I don't really know. I had to go to the bathroom. So I took it out and started to pee, but then I saw that it wasn't mine, so I put it back!'

[greenleader]

Naam: Kleinkoos Van der Merwe

VRAAG 1:

VERTAAL IN ENGELS: Soos in die tyd van die Voortrekkers, het ek en my swaer,Jakop, ystervarke en stinkmuishonde gaan jag met die dubbelloop-haelgeweer. Uiteindelik sien my swaer Jan 'n stinkmuishond, sit 'n patroon in die loop, le aan, trek los en daar le die stinkmuishond bene in die lug. Net toe ons nader kom ruik ons hoe die stinkmuishond stink en hardloop weg. My voet haak toe vas aan die wortel van 'n boom, ek slaan neer en breek my sleutelbeen. By die hoofpad uitgekom, staan daar 'n ou met 'n pap wiel. Hy wil weet of ons 'n domkrag het. Ons het nie.Hy vra toe of ons weet waar hy 'n motorhawe kan kry om lug vir die agterwiel te bekom. Van pure moedeloosheid bly sit ons net daar langs die pad.

ANTWOORD: As in the time of the Frontpullers, me and my heavy, Yes Head, went to shoot iron pigs and stink-mice-dogs with a dubble-walk-hailgun. At last my heavy John saw a stink-mouse-dog, so my heavy puts a pattern in the walk, lies on, pulls loose and there lies the stink-mouse-dog, bones in the light. Just as us come close, us smelt how the stink-mouse-dog stinks and runs away quick. My foot hooks fast to the carrot of a tree, I fall down and breaks my keybone. As we came to the chiefroad, there stand an old with a porridge wheel. He want to know if we has a silly power. We has not. He then asks if us knows where he can get a motorharbour to get some sky for his afterwheel. From pure motherlessness us sits just there next to the road.

[wiskeyfoxtrot]

Lekker Taal !!

[bluesmancoops]

Biker Humor

A tough looking group of bikers were riding when they saw a
girl about to jump off a bridge so they stop.

The leader, a big burly man, gets off his bike and says, "What
are you doing?"

"I'm going to commit a suicide," she says.

While he did not want to appear insensitive, he didn't want to
miss an opportunity he asked "Well, before you jump, why don't you give
me a Kiss?"

So, she does and it was a long, deep lingering kiss.

After she's finished, the biker says, "Wow! That was the best
Kiss I have ever had. That's a real talent you are wasting. You could be
famous, Why are you committing suicide?"


"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl......"

[Mark Hudson]

These are brilliant - thought you may enjoy a laugh !!

The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called the 'Style Invitational'.

The requirements this week were to use the two words 'Lewinsky' (the Intern) and 'Kaczynski' (the Unabomber) in the same limerick.

Now, remember, the following winning entries were actually printed
verbatim in the newspaper, no bleeps

Third place:

There once was a girl named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas 'Hail to the Chief'
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Second place:

Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky.

And the winning entry:

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter,
When deciding how best to be blown.

[Rusty]

Saw a good one this week........

Marrige is like a deck of cards,

It all starts with two hearts and a diamond,

but after twenty years you wish you had a club and a frigging spade!



Rusty