Flying/nonflying funny of the day

[Morph]

A stranger was seated next to Little Johnny on the plane when the
stranger turned to the Little Johnny and said, "Let's talk. I've
heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation
with your fellow passenger."
Little Johnny, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and
said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Johnny. "That could be an interesting topic. But
let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat
grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a
cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried
grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Johnny, "How is it that you feel qualified
to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

[Sad-Ham]

I am writing to warn you of something that happened to me, as I am the victim of the latest scam at Fourways while shopping. This happened at the Fourways Mall and it could happen to you. Here's how the scam works.

Two good looking woman come to your car as you are placing your shopping in your car. One starts by wiping your windscreen while the other comes round to you saying "Hi", while bending over with her breasts almost coming out of her blouse. It will be impossible not to look - it's there.

Then they beg you for a ride to McDonalds, a few blocks away. You agree and ask them to sit in the back seat. On the way, they start having sex with each other in the back seat. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and performs oral sex on you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I was assaulted last Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, but I couldn't find them Saturday or Sunday.

I was suckered! (?) I hope it doesn't happen to you.

Be careful,



Best Regards

[Biggles]

Corny I know, but ends well

Why microlights are better than women. .... ·
microlights don’t object to a pre-flight inspection. · microlights can be turned on at any time, just by the flick of a switch. · microlights come with manuals, which fully explain their operation. · microlights have strict weight and balance limits. · microlights don’t care how many microlights you’ve flown before.· microlights and their pilots always arrive at the same time. · microlights operate better when flown as much as possible. · microlights don’t mind if you test fly another microlights
It takes just the push of a button to get them started.

microlights expect to be properly tied down every night.
· microlights don’t mind if you buy magazines about other microlights.
· microlights need to be regularly serviced.
· microlights don’t comment about your piloting skills to other microlights. · microlights kill you quickly; women take a long, long time. · microlights don’t whine unless something is really wrong.

When a microlight does go quiet, just like a woman, it’s a very, very bad thing !!

[Sad-Ham]

There was a German, an Italian and SIPHO on death row.
The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die:

1. to be shot
2. to be hung
3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death.

So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head."
Boom, he was dead instantly.

The Italian said, "Just hang me."
Snap! he was dead.

Then it was SIPHO'S' turn, and he said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and SIPHO fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy.

Then SIPHO said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over.

Finally the warden said, "What's wrong with you?"
Then SIPHO replied, "Eish you guys are so stupid... I'm wearing a condom."

[The Agent]

OH Shipo is such a box.

[DieselFan]

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry
has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds
attractive on a man can differ depending on where
she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted
to men with rugged and masculine features. However,
if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she
tends to prefer a man with scissors lodged in his
temple and a bat jammed up his ass while he is on
fire.

Further studies in this area have been cancelled.