Friday Funny

[Morph]

A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing
there. He asked her, "Please Sister, may I hide under your skirts for a
few minutes. I'll explain WHY later."
The nun agreed to his request.
Shortly thereafter, the two Military Police came running along and asked
her if she had seen a soldier running down the road. She replied, "He
went that way."
After the MPs disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, "I can't thank you enough Sister, but you see I don't want to go to Iraq."
The nun said she can fully understand the fear. The soldier added, "I hope you don't think me rude or impertinent, but you have the most beautiful pair of legs I've ever seen!"
The nun replied, "If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen the most beautiful pair of balls you've ever seen! I don't want to go to
Iraq either."

[Cali]

Serena and Venus Williams sits in the gym's sauna after a 4hr workout. Serena turns to Venus and says:

Serena: " I'm sure dad has been feeding us steroids lately"
Venus: " What makes you think that?"
Serena: " I've been growing hair in places I've never had hair before"
Venus: " Like where???





















Serena: " Right here on my BALLS"

[ACE]

Little boy pulls down his pants and says to little girl
" I've got one of these"

Girl lifts up dress and says to boy
"I've got this"

Boy: "mine has balls"

Girl: "with one of these I can get as many of those as I want"

Ja, s'true..

[gertcoetzee]

At New York's Kennedy airport today, an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule and a calculator.



At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez said he believes the man is a member of the notorious al-gebra movement. The FBI is charging him with carrying weapons of math instruction. Al-gebra is a fearsome cult," Gonzalez said. "They desire average solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'there are 3 sides to every triangle'."



When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

[Cali]

Brilliant Gert

[Duck Rogers]

The Duck is quacking himself :D

[Aerosan]

Mathnifisent!!

[Sad-Ham]

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.

The librarian takes one look at him and says

" HEY WENA , who's gonna bring it back?"

[Tailspin]

EISH a thinking Souf African. Very very limited addition

[kb]

This needs to be read out aloud.

A little girl with a lisp, goes to buy a horse.
She says the the horseman (similar to a car-salesman, just sells horses),
I want to buy a horth. Can I thee your horth'th.
So, they go out to the paddock, and he catches one that is for sale.
The girl is short, and cannot see the face, so she asks,
Thowwy mithter horthman, can I thee her eyeth. So he lifts her up, she looks, and puts her down.
Ooh, beathiful eyeth. Can I thee her teeth? So again, he lifts her, and she looks, gets put down again. The man getting a little irritated now taht he has to kift her all the time.
So she says to him, "Can I thee her twot"
So he picks her up, grabs her by the belt and collar, and rubs her face between the horse's back legs, puts her down.
She then replies and says, "Umm, leth'th wefwath (refrase) that, Can I thee her wun around!

[DarkHelmet]

ROFPMLOL!!!

Thanks guys! A good chuckle after a very hard week! Cannot WAIT to get to the field tomorrow!!!