This is a "Been a looong K@K day" Funnneee

[RV4ker (RIP)]

Trevor the farmer was in the fertilised egg business. He had several

hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets' and eight or ten roosters,

whose job was to fertilise the eggs.



The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the

soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a

set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a

different tone so Trevor could tell from a distance, which rooster was

performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report

simply by listening to the bells.



The farmer's favourite rooster was old Jacob, and a very fine specimen he

was too. But on this particular morning Trevor noticed old Jacob's bell

hadn't rung at all! Trevor went to investigate. The other roosters were

chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing. The pullets, hearing the roosters coming,

would run for cover. But to farmer Trevor's amazement, Jacob had his bell

in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and

walk on to the next one.



Trevor was so proud of Jacob, he entered him in the Polokwane Country Fair

and Jacob became an overnight sensation among the judges. The result was

the judges not only awarded Jacob the No Bell Piece Prize but they also

awarded him the Pulletsurprise as well.



Clearly Jacob was a politician in the making: Who else but a politician

could figure out how to win two of the most highly coveted awards on our

planet by being the best at sneaking up on the populace and screwing them

when they weren't paying attention.



Do you know a Politician called Jacob?

[Coyote]

Very good !!!

[bennieatsea]

That was a good one,
here is a nother one


Are you having a Bad day at work???
If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!
This is even funnier when you realize it's real! Next time you have a
bad day at work, think of this guy.

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana . He
performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.
Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to a radio
station in Ft. Wayne , Indiana , who was sponsoring a worst job
experience contest.

Needless to say, she won.

**********************************************************************


Hi Sue,

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a
bad day at the office.

I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would
share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a
few technicalities of my job.

As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea.
I wear a suit to the office.
It's a wetsuit.
This time of year the water is quite cool.

So what we do to keep warm is this:

We have a diesel-powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea, heats it

to a delightful temperature, then pumps it down to the diver through a
garden hose which is taped to the air hose.

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times
with no complaints.

What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose
and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with

warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi. Everything was going well
until all of a sudden, my bum started to itch.

So, of course, I scratched it.

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my bum started to
burn! I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened.

The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my
suit.

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't
stick to it.

However, the crack of my bum was not as fortunate.

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the
jellyfish into the crack of my bum.

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator. His
instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other
divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say I aborted the dive.

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops
totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin
my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was
wearing nothing but my brass helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running
down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my bum
as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poo for two days because my
bum was swollen shut.

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much
worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your ar*e.

Now repeat to yourself, I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.

Remember whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish
bad day?